Tag Archives: Whiskey

Fireball Whiskey / Red Stag Spiced / Goldschlager / Pinnacle Atomic Hots / Firewater

20 Mar

I have decided to bring you the ultimate deathmatch, cinnamon-style. My method of choice is just to walk into the local ABC store and see what flavors they have minis of, then commence with the boozing. I will say up front, all but one of these were pretty freaking tasty. I’m separating the juice into three categories just to even the playing field.

Cinnamon Whiskey: Fireball vs Red Stag

Fireball (66 proof): Fireball has been a favorite of mine ever since I first tried it. It’s got a strong cinnamon flavor with the right amount of burn and started my love of cinnamon-flavored booze.
Red Stag (80 proof): Red Stag is labeled as “Spiced with cinnamon.” That’s being a little optimistic. It was very lightly spiced with a vaguely cinnamon flavor but had none of the burn generally associated with it. This could have been a good thing if there had been a slightly more pronounced flavoring but as is it fell flat.

Winner: Fireball

Cinnamon Liqueur: Firewater vs Goldschlager

Firewater (100 proof): The cinnamon flavor had something of a fakeness to it and wasn’t as enjoyable as some of the others tested, though the 100 proof did provide a seriously sweet throatburn. All in all a solid choice for the 100 proof category.
Goldschlager (87 proof): Surprisingly, The Gold was one of the least sweet of all the booze tried. And that is meant in the best possible way. It went down easy with little to no aftertaste, making it perfect for timid shot-takers. Plus that shit’s got real gold flakes, son!

Winner: Goldschlager

Cinnamon Vodka: Pinnacle Atomic Hots

Pinnacle Atomic Hots (70 proof): Basically, the Pinnacle tasted like a less-flavored, watered-down version of Fireball. Which is good if you’re looking for a less spicy cinnamon flavor. Also good if you’d rather go with a slightly higher proof.

TL;DR

Basically all of these were tasty with the exclusion of Red Stag. The shortcomings of most were only relative to the awesomeness of Fireball and would be unnoticeable unless you were taking back-to-back shots of other cinnamon flavored boozes.

Overall Winner: Fireball

  1. Fireball
  2. Goldschlager
  3. Pinnacle Atomic Hots
  4. Firewater
  5. Red Stag

Bourbon Bourbon Bourbon Bourbon

20 Jan

My name is Pete. I run ye olde Wilmington Pizza blog. I’m a bit of a character. I carry a shiv on my person at all times. Sometimes little kids come up to me and kick me! I think it’s my foul odor, or it might be that some rappscallion has again put a ‘Kick Me’ sign on my poor back. This happens regularly.

Sometime in the past I was asked to guest review for some other blog. Some lady wanted me to review her sister’s caveman-style pizza. Well, it sounded god-awful. It made me wonder if she had read any of my reviews of real pizza. I’m a notorious douche-nozzle, when it comes right down to it. I’m a jerk! I didn’t really decline that offer, but I made it clear that I would likely end up finding the pizza to be utter shit and I’d review it as such. She didn’t contact me after that. Part of me also thought she might be some kind of murderer or something. That’s hot.

My good friends at liquorlunch found themselves completely lacking in the bourbon-appreciation department, and called on me for this review. Caveman pizza can fuck right the hell off, but I will surely not look a bourbony gift horse in the mouth. You never know what you might find in there. Maybe your grandma’s dentures, except they’re moving around like maggots and calling your name in a sort of obscene and gross way that ol’ Gram would never do. And then they leap out and attach themselves to your face like Half-Life headcrabs. That’s terrible! Just don’t look, I say.

I’m nothing if not a prolific drinker. I got this fucking mountain of booze, and, you see, I drank it. For example, this morning I drank a bunch of bourbon. And cranberry juice, for balance. But mostly bourbon. Specifically I was drinking Buffalo Trace and Bulleit. Bulleit is an old staple of mine. I like it. It’s not too terribly expensive and it’s hella good and the bottle looks cool as well. Buffalo Trace is a new one for me. I’m told its a couple dollars more than Elijah Craig, which is a personal mid-range favorite. It turns out that I really like Buffalo Trace. Compared to Bulleit I think it trumps that bitch f’sho. It has a much deeper flavor. It’s god damn delicious. Bulleit is kind of one-note after drinking it side-by-side with Buffalo Trace.

I had this Tullamore Dew, too. Heh. Well it’s not a bourbon so whatever but man it beats the shit out of Jameson in terms of Irish Whiskey. I mean it really creams it. It’s like this Tullamore cat Dew’d all over cabin boy Jameson, bukkake style, and declared him a big ol’ bitch. Tullamore is pretty good, for an Irish. Basically I’m just saying that I don’t like Jameson. No one really does, though. They just pretend. Oh I’m drinking Jameson, look at me, woooobiddybooooo I’m a little princess BUT I’M TOUGH TOO, LIKE NAILS and stuff. That’s that those people are like.

Who is the winner, you ask? Well, I’m pretty fucking god damn glad that you did. That you asked. I’m glad of it. The winner is my new personal favorite, Jim Porter.

God do I love this shit. It’s $15 per half gallon. That’s practically free, man. It also far outclasses ~$14 half gallon non-bourbon whiskeys, too. It’s great to mix drinks with. If you hate yourself as much as I do, drink this shit warm and straight, ain’t no one gonna give you shit because you are a fucking genuine badass, and you are scary and you probably smell awful because this shit goes straight from your liver to your pores and it makes you smell like hobos taste: delicious.

Evan Williams Honey Reserve / Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey / Seagram’s 7 Dark Honey / Wild Turkey American Honey

2 Jan

While at the liquor store I was in the holiday spirit and decided to risk life and liver to bring you the promised Honey Whiskey Showdown! I grabbed every mini bottle of honey whiskey my local store had and flew home to rate this quadruple-header. My method was 4 separate shot glasses, with diet cheerwine and water as palate cleansers. I took half the bottle as a shot, then reserved the other half for sipping in case of questions or discrepancies. All booze was drank at room temperature. This is science, BITCH.

Evan Williams Honey Reserve (70proof): I started with this one, and was very disappointed. I really wanted to like it, but it was ridiculously sweet, almost disgustingly so. Which I guess you could counter with the fact that honey is very sweet, but, as with Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey, the weird Evany flavor ruined the party. It left a weird aftertaste. I would be willing to bet this might be a top contender had the shots been chilled though.

Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey (70proof): As awful as I remembered. I am from here on out enacting a new term: Post-Traumatic Tennessee Honey Disorder (PTTHD). Also, what idiot came up with the spelling for Tennessee? Its like a Wheel of Fortune contestant’s dream word. It has to be the longest 4 letter word in existence. Don’t think I mentioned it yet, but this whiskey came in dead last.

Seagram’s 7 Dark Honey (71proof): My favorite by far, which is ironic since I assumed this would be among my least liked (excluding the hell that is JDTH). It had a definite honey flavor without it being very sweet, a very muted whiskey flavor, and without a better way to describe it, a certain richness to it.

Wild Turkey American Honey (71proof): My second favorite, it was very well balanced. You could taste the honey and the whiskey, but they complimented each other rather than having a hobo death match. Neither flavor over powered, and it had a very smooth whiskey finish.

In the interest of science I also made a suicide shot of equal parts of all the honey whiskeys. JDTH ruined it, just like everything else in my life. But here is a picture of it anyways, with the honey whiskeys ordered in accordance with my rankings. So sayeth the booze drinker; so it shall be.

Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey and Fireball Whiskey

16 Nov

The last time I went into the alphabet store, I noticed a new brand of Jack Daniels and instantly decided to purchase a couple samples. I am proud to present JD Tennessee Honey.

Airplane bottles are awesome for a couple reasons:

  • They are made into miniature versions of the original bottles so you feel like a giant chugging whole bottles of booze in single gulps
  • They are easily hid and smuggled into professional sports venues, places of employment, weddings, movie theaters, family gatherings, etc
  • They are a cheap way to try a new alcohol. I mean none is so awful that I wouldn’t finish a bottle, but I’d rather put more delicious crap down my gullet
  • You don’t have to decide between brands and flavors. You can catch them all!
  • They get you fucked up

So after making them take a little nap in the land of ice and truck meat (don’t ask) I poured them into shot glasses and away we went.

My first sniff did not bode well, but since it was my first whiskey shot of the day, I didn’t lose too much faith. Spoiler alert: it sucked. It tasted very similar to black label but gone horribly wrong. Ok, slight hyperbole but not far off. For the record, I’ve had multiple “honey” whiskeys, some better than others and this was by far my least favorite.  I don’t know if it needed less “Jack” flavor or more honey flavor, but it seemed like the two flavors were battling it out and they both lost. I, on the other hand, had a shot of 70 proof juice so I win as always. I may have to do a death match review of all the major honey whiskeys to determine which I would recommend, but until then I washed away the awful with an ice cold PBR and shot of Fireball whiskey. Huzzah for awesome!

Awesome nd awesomer

I’ll skip the PBR and go straight to the Fireball. A lot of friends have compared it to RedHots. Since RedHots suck and are garbagebeans, I will compare them to… hmmm, idk….. Fireballs?  There is an amazingly balanced cinnamon flavor that is only enhanced by the sweet sweet whiskey after burn. I can’t recommend this highly enough. It is my current favorite new liquor and have just resolved to get a full sized bottle ASAP.