Tag Archives: mexican

Taco Bell Breakfast

27 Mar

Lately Taco Bell has been reading my blog and trying to crack me. First with cheap delicious Grillers, now Waffle Tacos. Well Taco Bell, you win. Because this spread for under $8 is a pure win.

Taco Bell Breakfast Spread

I have to admit, I did commit the cardinal sin of the Bell and forgot to ask for sauce. I think a few of these would have benefited from a squirt or two of verde sauce or even hot. Regardless, I ate them for you, and didn’t hate it.


A.M. Crunchwrap Bacon ($2.49): We have a giant hash brown, scrambled eggs, bacon, and cheddar cheese. I think American cheese would’ve been a better fit, but who am I to judge? It was pretty good; I really liked that the bacon were little pieces distributed throughout. 


Sausage Flatbread Melt ($1.00): This was a little dry, but for $1 it ain’t bad. I feel like they should’ve spiced things up with some grilled peppers and onions but with a little sriracha it was perfectly acceptable.


Waffle Taco Sausage ($1.99): This was the most exciting thing for me in the bag, but I felt it slightly missed it’s mark. The waffle was slightly greasy, which makes me a hypocrite because I couldn’t care less whether a biscuit was greasy. I wasn’t expecting it here though, and it was a little gross. The waffle itself was pretty decent, but I found myself wishing it were slightly sweeter and the sausage was slightly spicier. It was worth trying, and I could see myself getting it again. I just felt this was such a great idea that fell a little flat.


Cinnabon Delights (4 ct $1.59): These things are freaking delicious! The are cinnamon sugar covered dough balls filled with cream cheese laced Cinnabon frosting.

This isn’t my favorite breakfast. If I were driving down the road with my bff, I would stop at Hardees or Bojangles because I’m a biscuit slut. If those weren’t to be found then Chickfila. If my bff who hates biscuits threw a bitch fit, I would probably suggest Taco Bell. There’s definitely more than a pinch of novelty here, but for the most part it works and is edible and even enjoyable.

Taco Bell on Urbanspoon

Taco Bell Ranch Dorito Taco

8 Mar

Taco Bell Ranch Taco

This should probably be a long, well thought out review but unfortunately Taco Bell’s latest offering left me severely underwhelmed. It’s everything their shitty tacos normally taste like, with a Cool Ranch Dorito flavored shell. Does it improve it? Marginally. Is it worth upgrading to for 40 cents? Not even. Worth going to Taco Bell over literally any other food joint? Fuck no.

Taqueria La Tapatia

9 May

Rating: -1 Full Bar

I went here for Cinco De Mayo. Before I get all the, “It’s not a real holiday,” bullshit, I just want to say I WILL DRINK FOR ANY REASON. I had been planning on cooking enchiladas for the occasion, but after a 10-hour work day the thought of someone else preparing the feast sounded even better. So I rolled into this place, and was immediately overwhelmed by the menu. It was all in Spanish. I took latin as my foreign language and the only experience I have with Spanish is “kitchen Spanish” and a couple of hours on Rosetta Stone. I knew ‘pollo’ meant chicken so I grabbed a burrito, and my fellow eating-enthusasiast friend with much bigger balls got two tacos surtidos al pastor, and a tostada de ceviche. We ordered a couple beers to accompany it and sat down. While waiting for the food we noticed a bizzaro salad/salsa bar and got a cup of each of the green and reddish salsas. It reminded me very much of C-Street’s similar salsa bar so kudos to C-Street for bringing the real.

After a brief wait, our food was brought out and my first thought was that the burrito was freaking huge. I mean it was half as long as my arm. It was delicious and, once covered with a liberal application of the smokey hot sauce on the table, it was perfection. It was filled with lettuce, tomato, sour cream, refried beans, rice, and covered in a very light cheese and brown sauce. I wish there had been more cilantro because I am one of those people that just can’t get enough, but that’s not even a complaint so much as a preference.

Pictures do not do this bohemoth justice

My friend ordered the Tacos Surtidos Al Pastor (soft pork tacos gyro style) and Tostada de Ceviche and those mouthfuls were well worth taking the time to pronounce. I think he may have ordered the ceviche just to taunt me but jokes on him; anytime you go out to eat with me you agree to allow me sufficient bites to review your grubs. The tacos were the first to be stolen and I have to say the meat was fantastic. It was savory and flavorful and God help me but it brought to mind a cheeseless mexican philly cheesesteak. I have to admit I don’t like corn tortillas which is what this came on but I suppose that can be chalked up to my gringo status. Add that liberal topping of cilantro and I am in Mexican heaven. Which is just around the corner from real people heaven. [this racism was inserted by the editor – Ed.]

I was slightly concerned about trying ceviche from a hole in the wall at a strip mall, but I am nothing if not adventurous. I even eat hamburgers medium-rare and eggs over easy! That was a joke, I actually rip into living cows like a lion onto a gazelle and skip the eggs and just wait until the fetus is partially developed. I call it a chegg. Best of both worlds! Anywho I loved the ceviche. It was fresh tasting with a slightly citrusy tang and I wound up stealing any and all escapees that fell from the tostada.

I can’t say for certain if this is authentic, as I’ve never been to Mexico. I can say it tastes nothing like Taco Bell, Moe’s, or El Cerro Grande. Everything was fresh, flavorful, and surprisingly cheap. With the soft tacos costing $1.75 each or even the ceviche at $2.99, no one has an excuse for buying fast food on South College Road. The menu is filled with options for $3 or less and the more expensive options were large enough to count as double portions. The beer selection is limited to the usual Miller, Modelo, and Dos Equis at around $2.50 each and the lack of a full bar is slightly depressing. I can’t imagine how many hours (and bucks) I would spend at this place if it could support a full night of drinking. Everyone else who came in looked to be hispanic and that’s generally a pretty good sign. The next time you think about stopping by Burger King or McDonalds for a quick fix, do your mouth a favor in flavor and stop in here instead. I’d forgo drinking the hard stuff to eat here, hence a rating of -1 Full Bar.
Taqueria La Tapatia on Urbanspoon

C-Street Mexican Grill

24 Mar

Rating: 1 DeLorean

I went to this C-Street because of some Restaurant Week deal. I’d heard some good things about it and have been craving “mex” food lately so why the hell not. I walked in and immediately liked that the ordering board was so plain. Basically, the menu consisted of burritos, tacos, quesadillas and nachos, with the choice of a meat filling. None of that El Cerro bullshit; 10 pages of variations on 5 ingredients. I was immediately drawn to the spicy chicken, but when my fellow diner staked their claim on the spicy chicken burrito I was forced into the nacho corner.

Right before ordering, said friend wondered out loud about a couple of smaller plaques next to the menu board containing a few extra menu items. After a quick glance I fell in lust with the ‘Catamaran’ and ordered it sans beans. I am totally biased against beans; I hate their mealy texture and mouthfeel. If pressed I will eat them but given the choice I prefer to go without. The guy I ordered from had apparently forgotten his glasses that day and had to recheck the ingredients list every two seconds but the actual prep was so quick I have no complaints.

I really enjoyed the fact that the ordering process was set up along the lines of Subway meaning any additions or on the fly switch ups are easily accomplished, which limits the fuck ups per order. Sucks when you’re the one making the order as screw ups are obvious, but sweet for the customer.  By the way, I hate Subway. They have ruined subs for the general public. You do not need olives, cukes, pickles, onions, green peppers, lettuce, tomato, jalapenos, banana peppers, and the kitchen sink on a fucking sub. Why bother even getting meat at that point? I guess their meat is sliced too thick and shit quality so it works for them, but note to the population: do not ask for every vegetable and then some at actual sub shops. They have decent meat and its flavor does not need to be covered up. End rant, on to review.

The Catamaran was spicy chicken, rice, sour cream, queso, jalapenos (fresh, not pickled), onions, cilantro, and either red salsa or pico de gallo. With a sparse sprinkling of chips and an added cookie and beer I was ready to head to Scromtown. My first bite was heaven. This was probably one of my top 3 burritos I have ever eaten. It was as if I had handpicked every ingredient for my own personal super-burrito. Everything tasted fresh and amazing and was basically an orgasm in my mouth.

After a couple bites I realized I had chips with no salsa but my friend found a weirdo-looking tiny salsa bar near the soda fountain. It contained two separate salsas; an average regular red salsa and a green citrusy creation. Both were pretty decent, maybe even into the good category. There was also a bottle of orangish sauce at each table. My buddy and I squirted it on chips to decipher it’s components. The best we could do was a lot of citrus, something spicy and a pronounced vinegar component. It was, however, delicious, and I wish I had discovered it before consuming over 3/4’s of my meal. On the way out I asked and the guy told us it was some some sort of  Mexican chili, pumpkin seeds, other crazy spices and cider vinegar. It’s made in-house and I fucking loved it. My friend wasn’t as huge of a fan, but if anything it’s worth trying because of it’s uniqueness. The chips were freshly made and fantastic, and the cookie was mediocre. Who cares about a cookie anyway?

I love this place. The ingredients are obviously fresh and made with love, it’s like what Moe’s should be. The only problem is that the whole time I was eating, I was comparing it to the the local Juggernaut that is Flaming Amy’s. It’s an issue any local tex-mex or American-mex fusion restaurant is going to have to deal with. The salsa wasn’t as awe-inspiring as Flaming Amy’s, nor was the list of ingredients and burritos as crazy and impressive. But I dare say that if we (god forbid) lived in a world without Flaming Amy’s, this might be the best burrito joint in town. On top of that, it offers less of a wait and much more easily customizable burritos.

The domestic beers were $2.50 which is a definite drawback, but with the smaller space I’m assuming they can’t afford people having a decent drinking session; their few tables were almost filled when I was there. It’s worth checking out and I will definitely be going back to get another Catamaran in the very near future. And for that reason, I’m ranking it 1 DeLorean, because I wish I could go back in time and eat that shit again right now. Also, Deloreans may not have been the best car ever, but they were still pretty fucking sweet.

C-Street Mexican Grill on Urbanspoon

Doritos Locos Taco Supreme

13 Mar

Rating: 1 Cool Ranch Dorito Shell

I hate Taco Bell. I never go. Even drunkenly stumbling into a car with my friends screaming, “French toast,”* I’m never in the mood for Taco Bell. Now that we’re clear, I will say I was excited about the new Dorito shelled taco. I went to Taco Bell the day it was unleashed upon the world and here are my thoughts …

The picture looks waaaaay better than this did in person and the shell wasn’t nearly as Dorito-y as I had hoped. The beef was cheap, the cheese sparse and unmelted. Really, it was silly of me to expect the Dorito shell to work some crazy voodoo magic and make Taco Bell exciting and edible. I got the supreme version because it had sour cream. Honestly, this review is boring me just writing it. This is a Taco Bell taco with some Dorito seasoning sprinkled on the shell. No more, no less. I did find that I loved the Salsa Verde sauce packets and stole a handful or two of them … so there’s that. All in all a disappointing development in Taco Bell history, though at least a step in the right direction. I’m rating it 1 Cool Ranch Dorito Shell, because get that shit, then come back and see me.

*Note: Liquor is writing juice, not driving juice. Never drink and drive.
Taco Bell on Urbanspoon


9 Feb

Rating: 9001: A Gut Odyssey

Man, everyone calls this place Firebellies and it really grinds my gear. Now that I have that out of the way, I’m writing this guest review because the real schmuck is in the parking lot sucking dicks or something. I mean how tough is it to write a review every now and then? It’s not very tough, trust me! I just drank 3 PBR and I’m writing a fucking review right now, so I should know.

I hate downtown Wilmington. Okay, maybe you love it, fine, fuck you. Oh there’s like art and music and shit and its pretty and stuff. Blah blah blah, fuck all that noise. As far as I’m concerned, the only good thing about downtown is getting shitlorded and pissing in public.

Recently I had some excess books I wanted to get rid of, so I forced myself to go to that land of abject loathing: downtown. I was gonna try to swap a couple boxes of old books at Old Books on Front Street for some store credit or a quick bathroom blow-jay. No-go on either count: the woman hiding underneath a pile of dusty books told me she had 3,000 books sitting around waiting to be sorted. Half of them were atop her very person at the time, or so it seemed.

I was thinking about going to Subway afterwards, but Firebelly blocked my way and the booze-vortex sucked me in. Thursday’s $2 PBR pint and $5 quesadilla specials were too much – I could not avoid this wonderful fate. Also I used to go to Firebelly constantly so there was the chance of a hookup on what already promised to be a cheap yet boozy lunch.

I don’t know why I got the beef version of this otherwise-excellent quesadilla. I don’t like Firebelly’s beef. It’s dry and it tastes stupid and it’s just kind of fucky all around. Their chicken’s often fucky too, and it costs extra. The steak is usually okay but it also costs extra. I really should’ve went with the veggie quesadilla, which itself is a bit shammy since it’s just sauteed onions and green peppers.

Even with the shoddy beef this quesadilla was pretty good. Everything else in it was good and the price is pretty compelling (on Thursdays). The PBR was your standard 16oz ‘pounder’ can – though I think sometimes it’s a 16oz draft. A fine deal at two bucks, so I had three. The mass of pseudo-Tex-Mexican barfood plus three pints was too much for my insides. Soon after returning to work I rapelorded the bathroom, in a glorious symphony of flatulence and shitulence. There was a line of people waiting outside the bathroom waiting to give me high fives. Or at least that’s what I assumed as I slapped them with my unwashed armfeet, or whatever they’re called.

This was not my favorite Firebelly lunch of all time, but it was still excellent in its own Firebelly sort of way. I love this place and always will. It’s tough to hate the bar where Steve Buscemi and Vince Vaughn got into a fight which resulted in Buscemi getting his neck fucking stabbed. That way outshines all the Kenny Powers scenes shot at Sh’boom Sh’booms, big time.
Firebelly Lounge on Urbanspoon