Tag Archives: flavored

High Rise Citrus Vodka

28 Feb

High Rise Citrus

This is one of those weird mini bottles that they always sell at the counter for 99 cents. It turned out to be pretty decent. It’s definitely not an overly sweet lemonade knock off, but it does have a very pleasant citrus flavor without wandering into cleaning product territory. It has some burn but not anything crazy (it’s 70 proof). This would be fucking delicious in anything that needs a citrus kick. I’m thinking sweet tea.

Three Olives S’mores Vodka

23 Feb

Three Olives SMores

I bought this thinking it might be a chocolaty marshmallowy treat with a hint of graham cracker. I was fucking wrong. This may be one of the worst vodkas I’ve ever tried. It smelled of Cocoa Krispies which was a promising start, but the actual taste was akin to burnt unsweet chocolate. If you somehow smelled burnt Cocoa Krispies, that would be what this tastes like. It’s just so bad. There is no redeeming quality to this, especially since I paid $20 for it. Aside from it being booze, of course. Not only should you skip this, but you should write a letter to Three Olives explaining how offensive it is that something this bad is sold, much less called smores flavored vodka. I have figured out that anything (aside from a liqueur) that is chocolate flavored is generally god awful. I don’t know what it is that keeps these companies from producing anything that’s chocolaty AND delicious, but they need to figure that shit out and quick. I normally don’t condone the waste of booze but if you see this shit in your local liquor store feel free to do a gallon smash to fuck Three Olives out of numerous $20 bills. Fuck me I hate that I gave them that money. But you are reading this and I saved you so… buy me a beer or something.

360 Glazed Donut Vodka

10 Feb

Donut Vodka

Admit it, you’ve stared at this bottle wondering when will the endless parade of overly sweet flavored vodkas end? I mean what kind of fat ass wants to be seen buying doughnut flavored vodka? It does seem at some point they will run out of great ideas but for now I’m ok with all this malarchy. As for the vodka, shit’s great. Drinking it slightly chilled will remind you of Lucky Charms marshmallows. Drinking it room temp will give you the same but an almost Frangelico-like finish. It is super sweet but the lasting after taste almost makes it worth it.

What to mix this with: Sprite. I prefer Sprite Zero, but whatever. When mixed with Sprite this shit tastes exactly like Trix cereal. Seriously, go buy this shit!

Honey Stolichnaya Vodka

29 Dec

This isn’t the sweetest or greatest thing ever. If that’s what you’re looking for, check out Stoli’s new caramel flavor. This is pretty interesting in a non-gross way. It tastes like honey if it were less sweet. It’s kind of weird, honestly but I could see it going very well in some hot tea, sick style. Not worth a whole fifth, but if you’re in need of a hot tea with a little kick grab a mini bottle and throw it in. I’m pretty sure alcohol kills all germs, germs make you sick, therefore drinking will cure your cold. Science, bitch.

Maple Syrup Burnett’s Vodka

22 Oct

I fucking apologize, alright? I know I haven’t written any posts inlike  a year. The thing is, it’s not my fault. It’s Burnett’s fault. They made maple syrup vodka. MAPLE. SYRUP. VODKA. They made it to where you could literally drink maple syrup and get shitfaced. I’m not calling it maple syrup flavored vodka for a reason. This stuff has the vaguest of burns and the sweetest of tastes. Every time I drink it I have a split second of doubt where I think it can’t possibly be as good as I think it is and then it’s swirling around in my mouth cave tasting better than most real fake maple syrups.

Therefore I have no productivity, and this may be the end of my stint as a productive member of adult society. And blogger. This is the best flavored vodka to ever exist. The pinnacle of non-Pinnacle. I want to use it in butter cream frosting for a carrot cake. Or make maple martinis with a bacon dust rim, garnished with a strip of chocolate covered bacon. Or just pour it all over god damn waffles. I have never loved anything as much in my life, including family. Luckily only 3 of my grandparents just rolled over in their graves and I’m pretty sure the remaining one doesn’t know how to internet. Go fucking buy this right now. Unless there’s only one bottle left, in which case save that shit for me.

Southern Comfort Bold Black Cherry

6 Aug

This was also brought this by my roommate, so I guess it really was a message to stop, drop, and review. I know that I’ve had SoCo before, but I was probably really drunk and have no idea what it tastes like. Nonetheless I was excited by this because shits got booze, son.

I threw this back and immediately grinned. It was whiskey with a delicious cherry taste which was exactly like cherry cough syrup. That may sound like a bad thing, but for some reason it’s not. I mean people drink the fuck out of Jager and that shit tastes like liquorice cough syrup and is the most disgusting booze known to man. And I don’t know if I’d want to drink SoCo Cherry all night or anything, but I guess the little kid in me likes the idea of drinking whiskey flavored cherry cough syrup and not getting in trouble. What to mix with this? Cherry Robitussin. Just kidding, I have no fucking clue. I recommend this for simple, straight shots.