Tag Archives: flavored

Absolut Cherrykran / Burnett’s Strawberry Banana

15 Oct

Absolut Cherrykran and Burnetts strawberry banana

Absolut Cherrykran (80prf) – This is flavored with cherries, white cranberry, and plum. I’m going to say in theory that sounds pretty fucking amazing. In reality it suffers from the problem I find with a lot of Absolut’s flavored line: it just is not sweet enough. It smells amazing but that flavor never really translates well onto the tongue. I also found it vaguely medicinal. There may be a drink or mix this would work perfectly with, possibly a flavored/infused syrup. As is, straight up I’m giving it a CHUCK.

Burnett’s Strawberry Banana (70prf) – This smelled pretty good and the taste didn’t disappoint. It is fruity and delicious without being overly sweet. It very much reminds me of strawberry banana yogurt. In a very good way. This one, like most of Burnett’s offerings gets a CHUG.

Wild Turkey Spiced Whiskey / Red Stag Honey Tea

13 Oct

Wild Turkey Spiced and Red Stag Honey Tea

Wild Turkey Spiced Whiskey (86prf) – The spices were very mild. I was expecting a more Captian Morgan-esque spicing but some find that overpowering so I guess I may understand the decision to take a lighter hand. If you like straight whiskey, this may be something you love. If you don’t the spices won’t be enough to win you over. CHUG for whiskey lovers.

Jim Beam Red Stag Honey Tea (80prf) – This whiskey was very sweet and syrupy but I won’t hold that against it. The honey and whiskey came through much more so than the tea, but everything meshed well together and was a much better offering from Red Stag than I had previously reviewed. CHUG

Absolut Hibiskus

2 Oct

Absolut Hibiskus

I thought this looked kind of dumb, but figured I have been such a lazy fuck that I need to start running down some reviews. Look at those dumb flowers, that shit looks like the inside print on a Roxy bag. Luckily beyond the flowers there was booze. It smelled like tropical fruit, and maybe hibiskus which is the dumbest word in the English language. The weird thing about Absolut flavoring is the lack of sweetness to it. It tastes like it smells, but I am too used to overly sweet vodkas. Then I threw this shit into some Sprite and it was magical! Also try cream soda as a mixer.

Absolut Cilantro

25 Sep


I fucking love cilantro. Apparently some people are genetically predisposed to hating it, and that is what genocide is for. Kidding. The idea of a cilantro-flavored vodka seemed a bit odd to me but if done well it could be an awesome addition to many summertime drinks. Upon closer inspection the bottle reveals it is cilantro and lime flavored. Sounds a little shady but I approached it with an open mind, mouth, and liver.

Wowza is this stuff good. You definitely taste more of the limey-ness than the cilantro but it’s not sweet and it’s very refreshing. I would mix this with either tonic for a light, summery drink or as a lime flavor addition to any lightly-flavored beer.

Burnett’s Orange Cream

12 Sep

Burnetts Orange Cream


This vodka review came about because our ABC system did not have Burnett’s brand new Pumpkin Spice vodka the day it came out. A fucking travesty. But this looked neat and alcohol filled. God did it deliver. It smells of creamy orange in a way that makes you doubt it’s on sale $7.50 price tag. It can’t possible taste as good as it smells, right?


Fucking wrong. Burnett’s has once again proved that every overpriced flavored vodka brand is exactly that. How this cheap shit can continually hit the mark while others flail is a testament to the bullshit  marketing mark up of the vodka market. *Take a shot for every time I used the word “mark.” The vast majority that taste marginally better in flavor categories do not even touch the difference in percentage between themselves and Burnett’s. This is the pinnacle (slight intended)  of orange cream vodkas and you should go buy me some right now. What to mix with it?  Your vaginal juices if you can’t drink it straight.

Cinerator / Kinky Blue / Dewar’s Highlander Honey

25 Aug

Cinerator / Kinky/ Dewars

Cinerator Whiskey (91.1 proof) – The cinnamon flavor is very in your face, but the whiskey flavor was mellow and melded nicely without taking a complete back seat. Considering the alcohol content that’s fairly surprising … I find myself wondering how this would have fared in my cinnamon death match.

Kinky Blue (34 proof) – Kind of tart and sour, this almost reminds me of those delicious blue Blow Pops I’d eat as a kid. And only a kid. Because no grown adult went to Fizzy’s and bought $20 worth of candy today after going to the ABC store. Nope. Anyways, this is low proof, but I love the artificial sour berry flavor. I’m not guaranteeing anyone else will.

Dewar’s Highlander Honey (80 proof) – Oh God. This is what honey abandoned for 10 years in a dirty sock would taste like. There’s also a weird liquid smoke flavor. I’m considering not drinking the rest of the mini. Yeah right.