Tag Archives: fast food

Hardees Thickburger / Fresh Baked Bun

23 Dec

2013-12-19_11-37-08_760Nice burger! I like the bun. Big upgrade from the old bun, which wasn’t terrible to begin with. Upon opening this beast I was hit with an overwhelming smell of White Castle, for some reason. Buttery buns? I dunno, dawg, but it was good regardless.

As you may know, Hardees has pretty good toppings, as far as fast food joints go. Their lettuce is okay, not Burger King’s rotten shit. Their tomatoes are good, unlike Burger King’s flimsy dicks. Their onions and cheese, both on point. The new component shown here is the bun which is a big upgrade. I loved it. I don’t care what you think. Unless you also like it, that is.

Worst part of the burger is the patty but compared to the rest of the fast food patty population, it’s probably still above average.

2013-12-19_11-37-54_817Not entirely offensive for about $4.50 after tax. Usually I only get these with a coupon, though, due to my Judaism.

Hardee's on Urbanspoon

McDonald’s Bacon Habanero Quarter Pounder

4 Oct

MCD QPI have an obsession with spicy food that digestive tract does not share. When I hear there is a habanero flavored ranch I will come running. Though it took me a while I finally got around to trying one of McDonald’s new quarter pound options. To keep things short and sweet, the bun was crap. The toppings though great seemed to only highlight the mcdonald’s burger patty. It was as if they tried to make a real restaurant burger with mcds ingredients. The sauce was spicy and smokey and I would love it on a regular burger. I wouldn’t buy one again, but I would request that sauce on the side with a normal burger. I’m going with a NO on this one.

Burger King Bacon Egg and Gouda Biscuit

3 Apr

Rating: 18 Sheboygans

I have to start this out by commenting on the fact that the girl taking my order asked me what gouda was. I hope it was her first day, as there were other problems with my order that seemed beyond her order taking skills, but she honest to god asked me what gouda was. I told her it was a type of cheese with the straightest face possible, and she ran off to get her manager. It was more comical than anything else, but I do love how I have the most ridiculous experiences when I’m set on doing a review. Anywho.

Bacon Egg and Gouda Biscuit

So this gouda biscuit was pretty tasty. It had an absurd amount of egg on it, but that could be owed to the fact I showed up shortly before the breakfast switched to lunch. The eggs were moist almost to a fault but had appropriate levels of salt and were quite tasty. The bacon was standard fast food bacon though perhaps a bit thicker which was nice. The gouda was very mild in flavor and I probably couldn’t have distinguished it from any other cheese without being told. I wouldn’t count that as a strike against it, more of a plus actually. It didn’t have quite the fake “cheese” flavor their regular american does. The biscuit itself was crumbly to a fault and was difficult to eat due to what I at first thought was the moisture from the eggs. Upon closer examination I noticed little bits of a fresh bright green substance you rarely see in a place like Burger King. It appears they put some type of herb butter on the bottom of the biscuit and bravo, it was delicious. I would prefer it on the top since the moisture from the eggs already lends itself to a crumbling bottom bun (can I use that term for a biscuit?) but it was a very welcome addition.

BK Herb Butter

Would I pick this over their regular Bacon Egg and Cheese? Absolutely. Was the gouda the make or break element? Not really. It didn’t taste very gouda-y at all. I think it is an improvement over their regular cheese though, and the herb butter sent it into a very good new direction. Now if they could come out with a liquor spiked ice coffee I’d eat this shit every day!
Burger King on Urbanspoon

Taco Bell Grillers

26 Mar

Rating: 3 Dollars

There are three new ‘Griller’ items from Taco Bell. These are basically just small burritos that they grill. That’s why they’re called ‘grillers,’ methinks. Between the hours of 2 and 5 pm they cost a buck a piece. Outside of these hours I have no idea how much the cost. Probably a million bucks a piece I guess. Lets get on with this shit, okay?

Loaded Potato Griller

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This potato dude weighed in at 188 grams as opposed to Taco Bell’s stated 177 grams. I shoulda returned it for the false advertising alone. I didn’t however because it was pretty delicious, especially for a dollar. 2/5 of a pound of “food” for a dollar? I didn’t even  care what it was gonna taste like. The fact that it tasted pretty good was just a bonus. The potatoes are tasty, the bacon is good, the cheese is fucking whatever and the tortilla is all grilled which is cool. My griller even had some lettuce in it. I think it was just a fuck-up but it made me feel real special-like.

The Loaded Potato Griller was my favorite.

Beefy Nacho Griller

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This beef dude weighed in at 163 grams (just flip your head upside down to view the above picture properly). That’s pretty close to Taco Bell’s stated 156 grams. Good job, you glorious bastards. However, this beef baby was not as good as the potato king. It’s probably just because I hate TB’s ground beef with a passion. Especially when you combine it with their “nacho cheese.” The combination immediately brings to mind horrible memories of the nachos they served in my elementary school cafeteria. I want to vomit right now just thinking about it.

I also don’t care for these “crisp red strips” (their words) that they put in here. Unless the Taco Bell employee makes it and immediately spirals it from the kitchen straight into your mouth, these things are not going to be even vaguely crisp when you eat your food. Maybe if they protected them with a layer of lettuce it would work but this is probably far beyond the culinary prowess of your average Taco Bell employee.

The Beefy Nacho was my least favorite griller.

Spicy Buffalo Chicken Griller

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Chicken little weighed in outside of its 149 gram weight class, coming in at a whopping 165 grams. Fuckin fatso. Good job on Taco Bell for over-portioning, mad props and all that. I liked the chicken griller. I’ve honestly never had Taco Bell’s lava sauce is so I’m not sure if what I was eating was just the lava sauce or a combination of the lava sauce and sour cream. Either way it was pretty good and pretty spicy. The chicken was pretty good too, standard Taco Bell fair of which I’m fairly fond of.

This is probably the most polarizing of the new grillers. It has a much stronger flavor than that shitty beef version. I think the best thing about the buffalo chicken griller is that you don’t need any sauce packets to go with it. In fact, I found the sauces to make this thing taste worse. Except, maybe, the verde sauce. That was kind of an interesting combo. In any case, this one is good if you are driving around and you don’t feel like spraying sauce packets all over your balls (again).

This chicken fucker gets a solid second place finish.

Taco Bell on Urbanspoon

Taco Bell Ranch Dorito Taco

8 Mar

Taco Bell Ranch Taco

This should probably be a long, well thought out review but unfortunately Taco Bell’s latest offering left me severely underwhelmed. It’s everything their shitty tacos normally taste like, with a Cool Ranch Dorito flavored shell. Does it improve it? Marginally. Is it worth upgrading to for 40 cents? Not even. Worth going to Taco Bell over literally any other food joint? Fuck no.

McDonalds Spicy Chicken McBites

29 Aug

I immediately regretted buying these Spicy Chicken McBites, just like when I bought the non-spicy version in February. It’s kind of a theme with me and the acquisition of McDonalds. I actually do kind of like their $1 breakfast burritos though, in a way. I used to buy one of those and a large black coffee some mornings and I didn’t feel too bad about myself. Well, it felt kind of fishy asking an entirely black staff for black coffee, but only the first time; after that I sort of got a kick out of it because I’m a child.

The Spicy Chicken McBites are basically identical to the non-spicy version except these have a small amount of spiciness. I know, this is a real shocker. Someone call up Fox News. The ‘spicy’ bites are just as dry and overly-breaded and terrible as the originals. At first the chunks didnt seem too small and crummy but even the larger pieces still had way too much terrible breading in relation to the overcooked, terrible chicken.

A cross-section of the largest piece in the box

The upside is that all of this trash didn’t cost me anything because I had a coupon. The downside is literally everything else.

BRB suicide.