Tag Archives: BK

Fast Food February – Burger King Satisfries

18 Feb

Burger King’s value menu used to hold one of my all time favorite fast food burgers – the Whopper Junior. The Whopper Junior still exists, but at a higher price than the $1 it used to cost. I used to get that shit so much the cooks knew me by sight and offered to make me one before the lunch switchover on my birthday one year. Add in a value Icee and for $2 and you’re on your way to a lifetime of having an x in front of your size. I’ve basically stopped going to my local BK now aside from reviews for this blog, but they are also the closest fast food joint to me so they get the honor of being the first of a couple Fast Food February posts.

Note: I ate half of these on the ride home

Note: I ate half of these on the ride home

Ever since the Satisfries came out I have been meaning to try them. They promise 40% less fat and 30% less calories. The value size that I purchased has 190 calories per 89g. Compare this to the value menu versions of McDonald’s (230cal/71g), Wendy’s (220cal/77g), and Sonic (280cal/88g). I suspected the larger fries simply meant you got less fries overall but as you can see it’s a very generous portion size for a value fry and it’s calorie count is well below others with smaller portion sizes. But how do these things taste? I have to say, not awful. The outside was a little less than a freshly fried normal fry but not soggy or off putting either. The inside was soft and fluffy and everything you hope for in a fry. I tasted a weird metallic taste that I generally associate with old oil so I will hope that is a fault of my location and not the fry itself. Once dipped in ketchup it wasn’t noticeable.  These weren’t the best fries I’ve ever tried but they also weren’t even close to the worst. I would get these over other fries, or at the very least eat 30% more without guilt. Kudos on the Satisfries BK.

Fast Food February – Burger King Rodeo Sandwiches

10 Feb

Every time I see these advertised on a Burger King commercial I think, goddamn those might be good! But say you’re down to your last hobo dollar after buying your hobo beer and REALLY need to know which one is better? Don’t worry, I’ve got your back. That’s right, I tried both the chicken and the burger rodeo. Because I love you guys and shit.

Rodeo Chicken IMAG1127

The rodeo sandwiches are basically a basic burger and chicken sandwich plus onions rings and barbecue sauce. The burger is the weird fake smoke flavored patty you expect from Burger King, and the chicken was like a big and crispy over-sized chicken nugget. Weird enough, the smokey barbecue sauce almost clashed with the burger and the onion ring wasn’t helping. On the chicken sandwich the sauce lent a much needed smokiness and the onion rings worked better as well. The clear hands down winner was the Rodeo Chicken Sandwich. Save the Burger King burgers for when mayo is involved.

Burger King’s New Bacon Sundae

20 Jun

My little brother decided to treat me to lunch on Father’s Day, and apparently his idea of a treat is a triple whopper with bacon. No I am not my brother’s father, though I understand the confusion since this is the South. I wasn’t really in the mood for fast food garbage but I did check the menu for the Bacon Sundae I’ve heard tale of. I saw that they had it and immediatley it seemed today was my lucky day. When they finally handed it through the window I was in shock over how big it was. Seriously, that picture does it no justice. It seemed at least twice the size of the regular value sundae and it came with both fudge AND caramel (normally an extra charge to get both) and toppings were distributed heavily at the top and bottom, so at the price point of around $1.50 it was a bargain. I’m a huge sucker for salty/sweet flavor combos. Just a couple months back I made a delicious Candied-Bacon Whiskey-Marshmallow Caramel Bark that blew my friend’s minds. Point being, if there’s bacon, I will eat.

The down(ish) side was that the bacon chucks were huge and not crispy enough to really give a good texture contrast. Also, the experience of the bacon bites was the normal soft serve-and-topping flavor, with a vague chewiness and a salty bacon finish. It was delicious, but the bacon didn’t have nearly enough presence. Fat Kid Pro-Tip: Try a small fry with the icecream. The greasiness of the fry with the overly sweet icecream produces an almost doughnut-esque flavor profile that is weirdly satisfying.

Is this worth trying? HELL YES! If nothing else, it’s proportions make it a great deal. But don’t expect your mind to be blown. Sadly this sundae is no more and probably a little less than the sum of its parts. It does speak to that sugary overload you expect from fast food though, and the bacon was a good step in the right direction, BK. My advice? BK should make the bacon crispier and in smaller pieces, and serve a tiny portion of mini fries alongside. That might perfect this grand idea.

Burger King on Urbanspoon

Burger King’s New Onion Rings

15 Feb

Recently BK had a giveaway to promote their NEW AND IMPROVED ONION RINGS! I live about two seconds from The King, so I decided to stop in and rate their new offering.

Let me state that I am a fan of BK. I generally think they are underrated on the fast food scale, and they have Icees. I tried and liked their new fries, and was hoping these o-rings would be a similar step in the right direction.


The new o-rings were basically the same as the old, with less onion flavor. Not different enough to really even warrant trying. I just don’t get it. If someone doesn’t like onions, they aren’t going to order fucking onion rings. So why even try to cater to onion hating nimrods? Also, I kinda hate people who hate onions. I mean, I was a toddler at one point too, but then I, you know, grew up. These things taste like fried bread rings that may or may not have been accidently sprinkled with a speck of onion powder. I was curious to see if there is even an actual onion in them so I sliced into one. There appears to be onion, but I wouldn’t swear to it. They probably should’ve spent some more time in R&D on these. New equals the old minus flavor equals profit?

Since I was already at the king, I grabbed a Whopper. I haven’t had one in ages and assumed, worst case, this would make the trip worthwhile. Today was just not their day. After I bit into the burger I realized both the onion and tomato were actually thicker than the burger itself. Which makes absolutely no sense. If I wanted a veggie burger, that’s what I’d order. And why are the onions that are a topping bigger than the onions that are supposedly a whole side dish by themselves?

Burger King is completely lost in what they are doing and who they are doing it for. I like their new fries. I like the fake grilled taste. But even a long time fan such as myself will eventually grow up and start judging your food as such. So words of advice: Make your onion rings taste like onion. Give them a lighter coating. Make your whopper patty thicker rather than wide. It’s only fast food, but even they could do better.

best thing to ever leave bk

Burger King on Urbanspoon