Rating: 1 Run to the Shitter
I’m rating The Cheesy Banker a 1 Run to the Shitter because, first of all, these ratings are meaningless so who cares. Second of all, 10 minutes after eating the food I destroyed the company restroom in the most unholy of ways. Mind you, I’m not blaming them or their food. It probably has more to do with my diet, which has for some time been largely comprised of whiskey and pizza. Going from that to cheesed-up truck meat and Diet Coke has cleared me out. This was a good thing in any case because I’ve been constipated recently, for the first time in my life. Again, eating real food and eschewing alcohol are not things my innards are accustomed to.
If you are still reading after that barrage of too-much-information, I salute you. Not really – I think you’re a sicko. Be that as it may, I assume you came here for a review of this funny looking truck and the food it offers. They have a menu, but I think they always have off-menu stuff, too. I opted to go with the Cheeseburger Combo, which consists of a cheeseburger (no kidding), fries and a 12oz drink (they’re kept in the cooler shown above). The burger allegedly comes with cheese, lettuce, tomato, sauteed onion and, most importantly, bacon. This combo costs $7.50 which is $1.50 more than the burger by itself. They have a picture of it on their facebook here. Mine is pictured below.
That’s half of the burger. I ate the other half. This half is sitting in my desk drawer mocking me. First thing is that mine’s more cooked than theirs. I don’t really care, I didn’t specify a temperature (if he asked, I would have said medium but I like all temperatures). Also, I’m missing the lettuce. I personally like lettuce on my burger so this was a bit of a bummer. I’ll live, though. You might notice the bits of green in there. It was spinach (picture). One of their daily specials consisted of (among other things), “Spinach sautéed with garlic and onions.” I guess some got onto my burger. Personally I like spinach so it was cool but a lot of people hate spinach.
I liked this spinach burger. I liked the sauteed onions a lot. The tomato was good, the bacon was great. The burger had a nice char on it but it wasn’t very big and perhaps a bit overdone. The cheese was somewhere in there, I guess.
The fries were a bit of a bummer, to me. To some, these crinkle-cut frozen fries are the fucking bees knees. Personally, I don’t get the appeal. I think they’re the same ones in use by Poor Piggy’s, another local food truck (the first, to the best of my knowledge). I recommend Poor Piggy’s, by the way.
I’ll definitely go back to The Cheesy Banker if they are near my office again (note to food trucks: go near Shipyard/Carolina Beach Rd and I will give you moneys). But I don’t think I’ll get the burger or fries. If I want a burger and fries, I’ll go to PT’s Grille. Everything there rules, especially the fries. And they have cheap beer. And, even though I only go a handful of times a year, those wacky motherfuckers always recognize me. I guess they don’t often get people coming in there on their lunch break to chug 8 pints of Yuengling.
Another note to food trucks: put Sriracha on everything. Or offer/sell Sriracha in packet form. Pretty please.