Burnett’s Sweet Tea / Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka

11 Mar

So I have been planning an epic showdown between the various brands of whipped cream-flavored vodkas. I bought a bottle of the Burnett’s Whipped Cream and accidently drank it all before I could procure the other brands. Sue me. I went to the ABC Eastwood (the original bottle being from ABC 17th extension) to get the various bottles needed, wrongly assuming that a larger store would at least have the stock of the smaller stores. Let me just say this: the state of our liquor purchasing system is atrocious and beyond fixing. The state shouldn’t be buying liquor; I should be buying liquor. We can’t buy on Sundays for some unknown reason and the website is a clusterfuck of unhelpfulness. There is also virtually no way to contact a store without physically going to one OR emailing some random ABC board commisioner. So, say you were interested in purchasing 4 bottles of variously branded whipped cream-flavored vodkas, like myself. Your only choices are to run around like you’re on a very cool scavenger hunt, wasting precious time and gas, or bending over and taking it. Which I find amusing because if buying liquor on Sundays is outlawed in the Bible, surely assrape is mentioned somewhere in there as well. I haven’t read it. I wouldn’t know.

Long story short, I accepted defeat and got a bottle of Burnett’s Sweet Tea and a mini of Firefly. I drank most of the Burnett’s before I ever got around to a review which is a good sign already. In case you are unfamiliar with my love of Burnett’s you can also read me sing it’s praises here and here. Note of praise for ABC Eastwood: they did appear to have every Burnett’s flavor known to man. Except the damn Sugar Cookie I’ve been looking for.

Burnett’s Sweet Tea (60 proof): You can definitely tell there’s sweet tea going on here. But it is an almost overpoweringly sweet, thick flavor of tea, as if someone shoved molasses and tea into a closet for some very forced 7 minutes of heaven action. There is a very strong after burn, with an almost licorice aftertaste. It’s good, but there’s something off about it. If you’ve ever tasted sweet tea that’s been left in a container a couple days, you know the flavor.

Firefly Sweet Tea (70 proof): This is exactly what I assumed sweet tea flavored vodka should taste like. It had a balanced tea/sugar ratio with a slight kick just to let you know it’s happy hour. It’s made in SC which means you are supporting a semi-local business, which is cool. Also it shares the name of a sweet nerdy cult classic and is 5% stronger.

It’s tough to say who wins this one. If you’re judging strictly on flavor it’s Firefly in a comfortable lead. The problem comes when taking price into account … Burnett’s is $7.95(ish) and Firefly is $19.95(ish) meaning Burnett’s less-than-stellar flavor could be made up for by it’s being 39% of the price of Firefly. It comes down to your priorities, and since I’m not a fucking mindreader I’m giving these a tied status.

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3 Responses to “Burnett’s Sweet Tea / Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka”

  1. Amy Owsley May 3, 2012 at 5:37 pm #

    Firefly, all the way! P.s. love your blog.

    • liquorlunch May 4, 2012 at 9:52 am #

      Thanks it’s always cool to see that someone reads this crap I post

    • Patrick July 16, 2013 at 7:47 pm #

      Just read this review and bought Firefly, hope its good!

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