99 Whipped / Absolut Grapevine

13 Feb

After a decided lack of liquor posts lately, I planned a trip to my local ABC store to purchase some new flavors. I wandered around the store waiting for something to spike my interest when I noticed Pinnacle Cookie Dough. Holy fuck that sounded awesome! I skipped up to the front and picked out a few mini bottles to try as well. When the cashier asked me for my ID, I realized I had left it at home, so had to convince my roommate to purchase the booze for me. One of the happiest days in my life will be when I go grey and never have to worry about such trivial things. As it stands, I look super young so I understand being asked for it every time I go someplace new. While my roommate did remember which of the mini bottles to get, he conveniently forgot the promised holy land of cookie dough-flavored vodka and got Burnetts Vanilla instead. This was cheaper and acceptable.

I didn’t try the Burnett’s straight, so I’m only going to offer what I could tell from it mixed with orange juice. Shit’s good. Cheap as anything, plus when mixed with OJ it taste like a creamsicle. Yum.

The 99 Whipped scared me a little, because I hate 99 Bananas. After a lot of internetting and then a quick glance at the bottle I deduced these products are indeed made by the same company. Even though 99 Whipped is not listed on their sites list of products. Wacky hobo-built website aside, I loved this liqueur. It was sweet and delicious, with a very nice and noticeable burn. Since there are now at least 3 different Whipped Cream flavored liquors available, I will be doing a deathmatch of the major ones soon to see how they rank head to head. Until then, feel free to check out my review of Smirnoff’s Whipped Cream.

I was excited about this weird Absolut flavor. Absolut was one of the first brands of vodka I ever tried and I will always have a certain fondness for it. The bottle is the first thing I noticed – this stuff is definitely being marketed towards females. Some pink scrolls, green grapevines, butterflies, throw in a dragon fly… I mean I get it, I guess. The official flavorings are white grape, dragon fruit, and papaya. After taking the shot I can assure you that ‘flavoring’ was a very hopeful word for them to use. I could barely tell there was any flavoring, just a weird after taste. I can understand a complaint of flavored vodkas being too sweet but I think this one could have benefited from some sugar. Or more flavoring. I couldn’t even really tell if I liked the flavor. And if you are going to pay Absolute prices on a shot, I can’t imagine why anyone would choose this over the unflavored original.

It wasn’t bad simply because it didn’t taste enough like anything to count as bad. To be fair, I drank this warm as I do almost all shots I’m reviewing. It’s entirely likely that chilling it could tone down the vodka and bring out the flavoring, but Absolut is a fairly smooth vodka to begin with. I wouldn’t buy this again but if you have a girl in your life willing to love a liquor for the bottle and not the booze, this could be the ticket.

What you should take away from all this is that Burnett’s is cheap and awesome, 99 Whipped is what you expect with a kick, and Absolut Grapevine is an absolute dissappointment. What I took away from all this was an excuse to buy Smirnoff, Pinnacle, and 99 Whipped all over. Huzzah!

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

One Response to “99 Whipped / Absolut Grapevine”

  1. El Flavio April 6, 2012 at 9:24 pm #

    I agree with the Absolut Review; which is a shame because a respect their consistent no sugar stance… the Raspberry is very flavourful without sugar: I consider this a sign of true craftsmanship and an indicator that they are the quality brand they proponent themselves to be.

Leave a Reply