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Brixx Bloody Mary

25 Nov

Britts Bloody Mary

As you may know from my previous posts, I am a sucker for a good bloody mary. After my recent trip to Ruby Tuesday I decided to stop into Brixx and check out their Bloody Mary Sunday special that I found on Sloshr.com I am a pretty big fan of Brixx because of their superior rotating beer selection for the Mayfaire area and their surprisingly delicious pizza.

The first thing I did upon arriving was ask what bloody mary mix they use. While it wasn’t Whiskey Willys, it wasn’t the crap you normally find at the grocery store. I ordered what I thought was one drink but still received two. You can’t question miracles, just accept them gratefully. The mix was fucking fantastic. Not as good as my holy grail but probably next on the list. It goes by the name A Taste of Florida, and though I haven’t seen it before I suggest giving it a try if you ever find it.

I chose the spicy version and it was tomatolicious without being too thick and had a nice balance of subtle back heat. The drink was garnished with a lime and an olive which I found completely unnecesary but I guess not everyone has celery or shrimp to spare.

Pretty great pick for a bloody mary if you are ever in the area on a Sunday and combined with the decent food it’s all a GO!

Shuckin Shack Bloody Mary

20 Sep

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You may be thinking to yourself, “Why is there a shrimp on that cocktail?” Because that’s how all god damn bloody marys should come! That’s why! I missed the bloody Mary competition that downtown held a while back, but ended up at the winning establishment after brunch at 9 bakery. If you go on a Sunday, you will see a sign that says their bloody Mary’s are $5. Apparently those are for cheap suckers! I think, and I could very well be mistaken, that those are the same bloody Mary without all the fixings. I probably should’ve investigated further. I ordered their premium, award winning, illustrious, world famous Shack Attack bloody Mary for $6.25 because I’m classy and knowledgeable like that. I think. Or I paid an extra $1.25 for one shrimp and pepper flavored vodka instead of well.

The drink itself was a good bloody Mary. The Old Bay rim on the glass was a nice touch, the olives and citrus wedges not being needed in my opinion. I asked about the mix used and wouldn’t you fucking know, it was good ole Whiskey Willy! I can sniff this stuff out anywhere. I hate olives and limes as toppings but it didn’t kill me so I guess that was ok. I could’ve used a dash more of horseradish but I am a horsie whore. All in all a good bloody mary with shrimp at a reasonable price. I will be back to check out their food offerings at some point.

Winnie’s Tavern

18 Apr

Rating: Eat this shit

I used to drive by Winnie’s Tavern pretty much every fucking day, but I never went there. As much as I love dive bars, until somewhat recently (past couple years), this weird, lonely little place never got much positive feedback. Not from what I’d heard, anyway. Plus, the parking lot is always full of big trucks and it’s right down the road from a sketchy gay bar called Tool Box which is right next to the ports. I kind of got the impression they’d be serving floorburgers and when I went to pick one up I’d be proper bungholed.

Having heard that my paranoid homophobia might now be a faux-pas in these heady times, I decided to turn over a new leaf and go eat at Winnie’s. A lot of people have been saying very good things about their burgers. Plus, you know, the potential for anonymous gay trucker sex is always a draw.

I got a “Mini Winnie,” a 4oz cheeseburger with all the toppings an idiot like myself might come to expect plus some shitty frozen fries for $5.00. I liked that they offered the onions fried or raw. I like both but, hell, if I get to choose, I’ll choose either one of the other. That’s for god damn sure. This time I chose fried, because I’m an American.

Good deal for a decked-out quarter pound cheeseburger and fries. Especially since the burger was really good. I didn’t specify a temperature (allegedly you can), but mine was done to a perfect medium. Often I’ll order medium-rare, but medium is fine in my book, and ought to be the standard when not specified – unlike most places that cook their burgers medium-well and beeeeyoooond.

 My coworker got the regular Winnie Burger, which is a half-pound heart attack in the form of a processed dead cow. He got bacon and jalapenos on his too, because he is an asshole.

It should be noted that I don’t think the fries had the mountain of spices as shown; I think he added that. He ate that whole thing and loved it, remarking that it was better than the Red Robin burger he had the other night. A dive bar with a better burger than a national fast-casual burger chain? Maybe America is not beyond any semblance of hope. Never mind, it is anyway. For so many reasons.

Is this the best burger in town? Well, no. Crow Hill serves up a burger which is definitely superior. The Crow Hill burger is 10oz as opposed to 8oz, has better meat and infinitely superior fries. However, it costs ten dollars and up depending on configuration. Crow Hill is now closed. Thanks Wilmington. Winnie’s is in the 6-7 dollar territory. Is it the best Wilmington burger in that price range? Probably.

Warning: They inexplicably don’t take plastic.

Winnies Tavern on Urbanspoon

Firebelly

9 Feb

Rating: 9001: A Gut Odyssey

Man, everyone calls this place Firebellies and it really grinds my gear. Now that I have that out of the way, I’m writing this guest review because the real schmuck is in the parking lot sucking dicks or something. I mean how tough is it to write a review every now and then? It’s not very tough, trust me! I just drank 3 PBR and I’m writing a fucking review right now, so I should know.

I hate downtown Wilmington. Okay, maybe you love it, fine, fuck you. Oh there’s like art and music and shit and its pretty and stuff. Blah blah blah, fuck all that noise. As far as I’m concerned, the only good thing about downtown is getting shitlorded and pissing in public.

Recently I had some excess books I wanted to get rid of, so I forced myself to go to that land of abject loathing: downtown. I was gonna try to swap a couple boxes of old books at Old Books on Front Street for some store credit or a quick bathroom blow-jay. No-go on either count: the woman hiding underneath a pile of dusty books told me she had 3,000 books sitting around waiting to be sorted. Half of them were atop her very person at the time, or so it seemed.

I was thinking about going to Subway afterwards, but Firebelly blocked my way and the booze-vortex sucked me in. Thursday’s $2 PBR pint and $5 quesadilla specials were too much – I could not avoid this wonderful fate. Also I used to go to Firebelly constantly so there was the chance of a hookup on what already promised to be a cheap yet boozy lunch.

I don’t know why I got the beef version of this otherwise-excellent quesadilla. I don’t like Firebelly’s beef. It’s dry and it tastes stupid and it’s just kind of fucky all around. Their chicken’s often fucky too, and it costs extra. The steak is usually okay but it also costs extra. I really should’ve went with the veggie quesadilla, which itself is a bit shammy since it’s just sauteed onions and green peppers.

Even with the shoddy beef this quesadilla was pretty good. Everything else in it was good and the price is pretty compelling (on Thursdays). The PBR was your standard 16oz ‘pounder’ can – though I think sometimes it’s a 16oz draft. A fine deal at two bucks, so I had three. The mass of pseudo-Tex-Mexican barfood plus three pints was too much for my insides. Soon after returning to work I rapelorded the bathroom, in a glorious symphony of flatulence and shitulence. There was a line of people waiting outside the bathroom waiting to give me high fives. Or at least that’s what I assumed as I slapped them with my unwashed armfeet, or whatever they’re called.

This was not my favorite Firebelly lunch of all time, but it was still excellent in its own Firebelly sort of way. I love this place and always will. It’s tough to hate the bar where Steve Buscemi and Vince Vaughn got into a fight which resulted in Buscemi getting his neck fucking stabbed. That way outshines all the Kenny Powers scenes shot at Sh’boom Sh’booms, big time.
Firebelly Lounge on Urbanspoon

Carolina Ale House

30 Dec

Rating: 3.5 hours

Carolina Ale House is a family-friendly sports-themed restaurant … or so the website says. Let me tell you something … family-friendly restaurants suck and are really just drunk un-friendly. Why make a place that is called an ale house friendly to little rug rats who can’t even legally drink ale yet? Also, one time I went here and was seated at the outside bar to watch a game and this lady with her kid starts giving me the evil eye. She starts coughing loudly and when that doesn’t make an impression she asks me very self righteously, “Would you mind not blowing your smoke in my face?” Umm bitch I am turned away from you, at least 6 seats away. There’s nothing I can do about the wind. Your kind has forced me to sit outside to smoke because apparently bars are goddamn health spas now. So this bar was nice enough to build the smokers their own little bar outside to smoke, drink, and curse at athletes unmolested, and now your kind comes out here and try to claim it as well? Fuck off. Point of that being is that this place is awesome because of their outside bar. It’s where the real drunks are.

I went to CAH because I wanted to watch a hockey game and they have the center ice package. I also received a gift card for Boozemas and I like free food. I was absolutely starving and went with the “Pub Burger” because it had bacon and I’m going through an onion rings phase. I ordered the “special sauce” on the side; I get cautious about weird sauces on my burger and I wasn’t filled with liquid courage. I ordered the burger medium and with minimal wait this was brought out to me.

It was delicious. The sauce was mayo based and awesome, I wish I had ordered a side for dipping my fries in. The onion strings were perfectly cooked and have been added to my list of stuff every burger should come with (along with bacon and fried eggs.) The burger itself was a bit well done for medium but juicy enough to create a moat of cow blood in my plate. The fries were really good as well; they tasted like curly fries without, you know, being curly or whatever. The only thing I take issue with are the veggies. There’s no need for them in this mountain of perfection. I ate almost every bit of food on the plate and wished I had room for more. Alas, I only had $30 on my giftcard and this monster accounted for $8.29 of that leaving only $21.71 for booze which equals around 8.6 Bud Lites at $2.50 a pop. And that, kids, is why you need to learn math. Makes for more efficient drinking. Also, I used a calculator for that so if the math is off the computers may have become sentient.

All in all the burger was awesome, but burgers are pretty hard to screw up. I loved the fries; they’re probably frozen but I’m not picky. As a bar it kinda sucks with the family-friendly bit, but I do like the choice of an outside bar with multiple flat screens and more taps than most bars have. They have an insane amount of TVs and have put on re-runs of Stanley Cup games over live baseball when I’ve asked, so getting your game of choice on is never a problem. I’m definitely going to come back and pay real money for food here and probably order this same burger. The average hockey game lasts about 2.5 hours, and I’d gladly show up an hour earlier to eat, but leave after and spend another hour drinking somewhere with PBR on special, giving CAH a rating of 3.5 out of 4.5 hours.

Note of caution: I have come here multiple times and have horrible experiences with sitting at the tables. My friends and myself are fast drinkers and we had to start double ordering beers because it would take that long for the waitress to get back around to our table. I would recommend sitting at the bar whenever possible.

Carolina Ale House on Urbanspoon

Breaktime Billiards / Tenpin Alley

23 Dec

Rating: 1 AA meeting

I will start this post off by fully admitting I came here for one reason only. On Wednesday nights this bar has $1 draft PBRs. In case you hadn’t picked up on it, I love me some PBR. It’s generally the cheapest beer available, has decent flavor for the price, and is the epitome of class and high breeding. And they used to make sweet commercials. The point to all this being that if you serve cheap PBR, I will come.

I wasn’t planning on reviewing this but took pictures just in case I needed to pad the posts. But then I had the thought that reviewing bars might be a decent idea so here is a historic moment in no one’s life… my first bar review.

The bartenders were very attentive and entertaining, and they had cheap beer. Tons of pool tables, and it’s also technically a bowling alley so there’s even more stuff to do for bored alcoholics.

After reviewing a menu I ordered the “atomic” Breaktime Bites and a basket of curly fries.

The Breaktime Bites had an okay heat, but I’m a fan of just soaking chicken in Frank’s so I may not be the best judge. The chicken was moist, the ranch delicious, and ALL buffalo chicken should come with celery so kudos on that as well. Dual ranch cups were a plus, and all in all this was on the good end of what you expect from bar food. I like that these were thicker chicken bits instead of the frozen chicken tenders (ala J. Michaels) that a lot of places will dish out as boneless wings.

Next up were the curly fries. They were delicious, crispy, swirly curly fries. I think the only way to screw up curly fries is to make them soggy. These weren’t, so A+!  On a side note, why do curly fries taste so much better than regular fries? And are darker in color? What magical process in involved with this food of the gods?! (SPOILER ALERT: it’s the seasonings added) Mmmm curly fries. Yes, anyways, review….

All in all an awesome beer special, good staff, nice bar, and above mediocre bar food from my standpoint. I will definitley return and would urge anyone to do the same. On Wednesdays at least. For that reason I warn you to be careful, with cheap drinks and decent bar food, this would be enough to tip a weekend warrior to the entry level alchy side. And so I rate it 1 AA meeting. You may end up needing it.

Breaktime on Urbanspoon